Hurt/Comfort – Why Do We Love This Trope?

“You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men.”

–Barbara Kruger, Untitled, 1981

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“In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy—as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh—as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege—as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover—as long as he is riddled with bullets. Violence makes the homo-eroticism of many ‘male’ genres invisible; it is a structural mechanism of plausible deniability.”

Tarantino’s Incarnational Theology: Reservoir Dogs, Crucifixions, and Spectacular Violence. Kent L. Brintnall.

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(Expanding on this reddit AMA and the Right Here Write Queer podcast episode with Luna Daye, Noah Hawthorne, Sarah Wallace, and S. O. Callahan.)

What is hurt/comfort?

In the simplest terms, hurt/comfort is any scene in a story wherein a character is hurt in some way and subsequently comforted.

Examples of hurt/comfort I’ve enjoyed in fiction include…

Our Flag Means Death, wherein a ferocious pirate captain tenderly looks after his wounded peer, well before any emotional connection has been established between them.

The Terror, wherein a steward nurses his captain through alcohol withdrawals (and—spoiler—is subsequently nursed through scurvy by his captain).

(“Hey, there seems to be a nautical theme here,” you say. Yes. Because of the unique homosocial setting of the Age of Sail removing women from the scene, which forces men to step up into a caretaking role for other men, and also because the isolation of a ship at sea means medical care—including surgery—must occur on location and often at the hands of characters who are already deeply intertwined. Also because I’m the one making this list and I have a problem.)

The trope is particularly popular in fanfiction, for reasons that will be expounded upon later. According to Fanlore, hurt/comfort dates back to the Star Trek fandom of the 1970s. (An earlier term for the trope was “Get ‘em,” as in “attack.” A hurt/comfort fanfic centered around Spock, for example, would be called a “get Spock” story.)

A related term, “whump,” has undergone a curious evolution. Originally it meant a more severe form of hurt/comfort, heavier on the hurt and with less comfort—sometimes even no comfort at all. More recently it has come to be almost synonymous with hurt/comfort; not necessarily because of any changing attitudes towards the trope itself, but simply that tagging systems on most social media platforms struggle to parse the slash in hurt/comfort without breaking the hashtag. (Only very recently has tumblr fixed this issue. Instagram and the like haven’t bothered.) This makes finding hurt/comfort posts on social media extremely difficult. However, since there is significant overlap between hurt/comfort and whump content, users were able to find hurt/comfort content through the whump tag, and so they merged.

In my own works, Fiorenzo has the most hurt/comfort per page; appendicitis, wild animal attack, kidnapping, stabbing, poisoning… the list goes on. Mr Warren’s Profession has its fair share in boiler explosions, burns, broken bones, and sundry others, with bonus pneumonia in its sequel Throw His Heart Over. Hold Fast features horse-riding accidents and gunshot wounds. The Haunting of Heatherhurst Hall has just as much gore as you’d expect from Gothic horror, but probably far more caretaking than most. As for Oak King Holly King, let’s just say, antler-induced migraines—plus hypothermia and still more wild animal attack in the sequel Tales from Blackthorn Briar. It’s fairly obvious that hurt/comfort is my favorite trope and I doubt I’ll ever craft a story without at least a drop of it.

But why?

What makes hurt/comfort so compelling?

For me, hurt/comfort is inextricable from queer romance—and more specifically, from romance between men.

Male characters in Western media generally aren’t permitted to be emotionally vulnerable towards other men. It seems like the only time a man can show weakness is if he’s physically wounded and/or dying.

After a lifetime of absorbing that, the end result is that physical vulnerability and emotional vulnerability go hand-in-hand in my brain.

Furthermore, there’s almost never any catharsis after a man is shown to be wounded in TV/film. We are shown the violence, and we are perhaps even shown the rescue from said violence, but the recovery is limited in scope if it is depicted at all. I find that very unsatisfying. And hurt/comfort is, for me, a satisfying way to dwell in the catharsis that is denied us when we are only shown the “hurt” half of masculine vulnerability.

(This lack of comfort in most media wherein characters are hurt is also why this trope is particularly prominent in fanfiction. Fanfic exists to fill the gaps in existing stories, and comfort is a very common gap.)

To be loved when you are weak, to not have to hide your suffering, to be honest about your pain and have your pain not just witnessed but also sympathized with and empathized with and to the extent that it is possible alleviated, is frankly an exhilarating prospect, and to see it occur in fiction can grant the reader a powerful euphoria.

Hurt/comfort is also very powerful from a technical standpoint as a writer. Your narrative voice can say your characters care about each other. You can even make the characters say it out loud themselves. But nothing will be as effective as showing that care through the characters’ actions, and it is the showing that will make it feel truly real to the reader. And nothing says “I care about you” quite like holding someone’s hair out of their face while they puke, or spoon-feeding them soup while they’re too weak with fever to do for themselves, or picking through the pus and gore to clean their wound and staunch their blood. It’s precisely this unglamorous side of true love that makes it believable. And it’s that believability that compels me far more than a thousand flowery declarations of eternal affection ever could.

What is revealed about a man who tries to keep his walls up but is forced into a position of vulnerability by his circumstances? What might his friend, lover, or even enemy learn of him then? Still more character is revealed in how they react to his plight. If he expects scorn as a reward for what he perceives as a failure of his strength, what would it do to him to receive compassion in its stead? What could this new understanding between them spark?

I write hurt/comfort to answer these questions and to achieve the catharsis denied to me in almost all other media. In a world full of hurt, we all need some comfort.

~

Oak King Holly King (audiobook!) on Right Here Write Queer

There’s a new episode of Right Here Write Queer waiting for you in your favorite podcast app!

Please enjoy this special sneak peek into the audiobook of Oak King Holly King – a gay Victorian fae romance by Sebastian Nothwell, read by Gary Furlong.

Shrike, the Butcher of Blackthorn, is a legendary warrior of the fae realms. When he wins a tournament in the Court of the Silver Wheel, its queen names him her Oak King – a figurehead destined to die in a ritual duel to invoke the change of seasons. Shrike is determined to survive. Even if it means he must put his heart as well as his life into a mere mortal’s hands.

Wren Lofthouse, a London clerk, has long ago resigned himself to a life of tedium and given up his fanciful dreams. When a medieval-looking brute arrives at his office to murmur of destiny, he’s inclined to think his old enemies are playing an elaborate prank. Still, he can’t help feeling intrigued by the bizarre-yet-handsome stranger and his fantastical ramblings, whose presence stirs up emotions Wren has tried to lock away in the withered husk of his heart.

As Shrike whisks Wren away to a world of Wild Hunts and arcane rites, Wren is freed from the repression of Victorian society. But both the fae and mortal realms prove treacherous to their growing bond. Wren and Shrike must fight side-by-side to see who will claim victory – Oak King or Holly King.

Oak King Holly King is a romantasy wherein a fearsome fae warrior destined for ritual sacrifice seeks a Victorian clerk fated to save him.

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Fire Spells Between Friends with Sarah Wallace and S.O. Callahan

There’s a new episode of Right Here Write Queer waiting for you in your favorite podcast app!

What are some of the rewards and challenges of taking the road less travelled and writing a romance between an already-established couple? Sebastian Nothwell (he/him) interviews Sarah Wallace (they/them) and S.O. Callahan (she/her) about their upcoming queernormative cozy Regency romantasy, Fire Spells Between Friends.

Sarah Wallace and S.O. Callahan are coauthors of the Fae & Human Relations series, a queernormative cozy fantasy beginning with Breeze Spells and Bridegrooms.

Additionally, Sarah Wallace is the author of the queernormative cozy fantasy series Meddle & Mend, beginning with Letters to Half Moon Street. You can connect with them on instagram @sarah.wallace.writer

S.O. Callahan is also the author of the queer historical romantasy duology Fella Enchanted and Fella Ever After. You can connect with her on instagram @s.o.callahan

Ch. 17 – Vampires Vampires Vampires on Patreon!

Chapter Seventeen of Vampires Vampires Vampires , a M/M/M Victorian vampire romance, is up on Patre♡n – the thrilling conclusion!

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them. You’ll also be invited to join an exclusive Discord server just for patrons!

A new chaper will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting…
♡ Vampires Vampires Vampires (mmm)

Completed works…
♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm)
♡ A Willing Canvas – John Halloway x Lord Cyril Graves (mm)
♡ The Train Job – Rowena Althorp x Rebekah (ff)
♡ Hold Fast 2 – Hold Faster (mm)

See you on Patre♡n!

Ch. 14 – Vampires Vampires Vampires on Patreon!

Chapter Fourteen of Vampires Vampires Vampires , a M/M/M Victorian vampire romance, is up on Patre♡n! Wherein the baronet, the bo’sun, and the vampire meet in the monastery ruin.

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Malory glanced between them, looking as though he’d forgotten how to breathe and didn’t particularly mind it.

Octavio slipped a hand behind the nape of his neck and kissed the breath back into him.

~

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them. You’ll also be invited to join an exclusive Discord server just for patrons!

A new chaper will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting…
♡ Vampires Vampires Vampires (mmm)

Completed works…
♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm)
♡ A Willing Canvas – John Halloway x Lord Cyril Graves (mm)
♡ The Train Job – Rowena Althorp x Rebekah (ff)
♡ Hold Fast 2 – Hold Faster (mm)

See you on Patre♡n!

Ch. 9 – Vampires Vampires Vampires on Patreon

Chapter Nine of Vampires Vampires Vampires , a M/M/M Victorian vampire romance, is up on Patre♡n! Wherein the baronet and the bo’sun confess and consummate.

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“Do you regret it?”

Malory caught his apology on his tongue. Of course he regretted any discomfort or embarrassment he’d caused. Yet the bo’sun did not appear discomforted or embarrassed. A gleam of intrigue lit up those dark and compelling eyes, and the ghost of a smile played at the corners of those full lips which Malory wished to kiss again. The memory of last night, the taste of wine and salt and the intoxicating scent of another man’s musk, threatened to overwhelm him even now.

“Do you regret it?” Malory echoed at last.

The bo’sun gave him a considering look. “I only regret you were not sober.”

Malory didn’t dare to hope he’d heard him correctly. Yet he heard himself reply, “I’m sober now.”

~

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them. You’ll also be invited to join an exclusive Discord server just for patrons!

A new chaper will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting…
♡ Vampires Vampires Vampires (mmm)

Completed works…
♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm)
♡ A Willing Canvas – John Halloway x Lord Cyril Graves (mm)
♡ The Train Job – Rowena Althorp x Rebekah (ff)
♡ Hold Fast 2 – Hold Faster (mm)

See you on Patre♡n!

Sebastian Nothwell on Right Here Write Queer

A new episode of Right Here, Write Queer just dropped! You can listen in your favorite podcast app.

On today’s episode, cozy magical realism author Tess Carletta interviews me, Sebastian Nothwell. We chat about body autonomy, escaping into queernormative worlds, and the parallels between English country house life and the isolation aboard ship in the age of sail.

Our other episodes will introduce you to…

Tess Carletta, cozy magical-realism author of Kit & Basie and its recently-released sequel, Patchwork.
Sarah Wallace, author of the Regency fantasy novel Letters to Half Moon Street and co-author of Breeze Spells and Bridegrooms.
Noah Hawthorne (also writing as Aelina Isaacs), author of the fantasy novel Phantom and Rook: When An Immortal Falls In Love With A Witch as well as The Rebel Foxes: The Sirione Chronicles: The Dome.
Luna Daye, author of the epic high fantasy series The Thoraius Saga and the romantasy series The Fated Fae.
Carolina Cruz, author of the gothic horror romance Blood in the Water and the fantasy series The Creed of Gethin.
Sarah Whalen, author of the contemporary ace romance novel This Doesn’t Mean Anything.
R.K. Ashwick, fantasy author of the Lutesong series and A Rival Most Vial: Potioneering for Love and Profit
S.O. Callahan, author of the historical fantasy novel Fella Enchanted and co-author of Breeze Spells and Bridegrooms

Our intro episodes will be rapid-releasing every Monday-Wednesday-Friday, and our regular topic episodes will come out every week after that.

This project has been many months in the making and I’m so thrilled to finally be able to share it with you – thank you for listening!

Solar Fantasy – Aubrey & Lindsey Retold – Ch. 7 up on Patreon!

Scene 7 of Solar Fantasy – Aubrey & Lindsey Retold is up on my Patre♡n! Wherein Aubrey realizes precisely who he dallied with at the party. Please enjoy this sneak peek and join me for more.

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“Apparently the prince met someone at the party and is absolutely besotted.”

Aubrey, who’d spent the last few moments trying and failing to remember which prince was called Lindsey, felt a growing unease at this. “Oh?”

“Yes. So besotted, in fact, that he failed to learn the man’s name. He’s turned to Graves for help with the matter. And Graves went down the whole guest list, searching for anyone who matches the description Prince Lindsey gave, or anyone who saw such a person at the party. Several people have claimed to, of course, but Graves has discredited their testimonies.”

Aubrey’s stomach did an uncomfortable flip. “What description did the prince give?”

“That’s the funniest part. Small, dark, large eyes, sharp features. Sound familiar?” Halloway asked with a grin.

Aubrey didn’t think it very funny at all, but forced a smile.

“Finally,” Halloway continued, “Graves got so fed up with the whole business that he came to me in desperation and asked if I’d brought anyone particularly beautiful along to the party—one of my models, perhaps? And I told him no, not any of my models, but a gentleman I wish would model for me. And, upon reflection, he almost matches the description. But I cannot for the life of me imagine him taking such liberties—though I suppose the prospect of prince is a very compelling catch.”

Aubrey’s growing dread became an internal scream.

“Anyway,” Halloway said with a dismissive wave, “that’s what I told Graves. Couldn’t possibly be my man, sorry I can’t be of more help, et cetera. But isn’t it extraordinary? The mystery man is a match for you in every aspect save behaviour.”

“What does Prince Lindsey look like?” Aubrey asked.

Halloway’s mirth died on his face.

~

Did you want more Aubrey and Lindsey – but in a whole new world?

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them.

A new scene will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting…
♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm) (90k)

See you on Patre♡n!

Sunday Snippet, 4.16.23

Sunday Snippet from my gay Victorian fae romance, Oak King Holly King – available now wherever fine books are found!

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Butcher cleared his throat and held out his left hand. Dark lines wore through his weathered palm like tree-rings, and his long fingers bore more than a few calluses. It looked more like a sailor or farmer’s hand than the hand of a thespian or an aristocratic eccentric. “Tonight I join the Wild Hunt to slay the beast that has devoured the children of the Court of Moons. If you will venture out with me, I will show you that all I spake of rings true.”

This, then, was the trick. No shell hidden beneath a cup or ha’penny pulled from behind an ear. Just a fairy tale to lure Wren out of the city. To what end, he couldn’t fathom.

Yet even as his rational mind supposed that such an adventure could only end in mugging or murder, his Romantic soul stretched its withered wings and soared at the notion of leaving the suffocating fog of Staple Inn behind to venture out into the wilderness beneath the full moon.

Furthermore, if he did end up murdered, it meant he’d never have to copy out another account-book again. And if he must end in murder, Wren supposed he’d rather have a strapping specimen like Butcher slide the knife into his heart.

~

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Sunday Snippet, 4.9.23

Sunday Snippet from my gay Victorian fae romance collection, Tales from Blackthorn Briar, a sequel to Oak King Holly King featuring hurt/comfort and many happily-ever-afters – available wherever fine books are found!

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“I’m sorry,” said Wren as their lips parted.

Shrike furrowed his brow. “What for?”

“It’s my fault you lost your chance at the white hart.”

Shrike continued staring at him for another moment or two. Then his hand came up to brush Wren’s hair off his brow and trail down his cheek in a tender caress.

“I did almost lose my heart,” Shrike murmured. “But he is found again, and reawakened, and now all is well.”

~

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